Cannibalis and this tale of mine
by Megustamuffins
Summary: There is nothing scarier than a crack-filled desolate future, no color and change. How is Allen going to deal with this kind of problem, after all what can one beansprout do with a six foot tall Alien? To top it off, he is sure there is some kind of cannibalism going on there. Yullen, AU, Oneshot. Warnings- Random, uncensored humor and obscene refrences. Read at own risk.


**This started out as an attempt at a good plot and ended up as a cracky humorous piece of shit.**

**So read for enjoyment and don't ask questions cause I bullshitted most of this.**

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Love and hate. They are both sides of the same coin.

Or is that how the saying goes. I wouldn't know, I never listened.

I have never been the kind of person to take advice easily, and I have always fallen the hardest because of it.

So here is my story, bitter as it is, I feel it needs to be shared, desperately.

I was born in 3019. The year of the Cat (as Chinese zodiac years had become totally mixed from the incident a few years back. You know, that one.)

We were all waiting, waiting for a hero to show up. I forget what exactly race it was that had always waited for a savoir as well, but the thing I do remember is they were screwed over because of it. They interpreted the white people that came and "took over" as one of their gods, and by the time they realized their mistake, oops. They were dead, or maybe it was just the leader. I forget.

Anyway, so we all waited. I remember the year after the gas explosion incident, it was me and my father in one of those small hurricane bunkers from the years when we HAD hurricanes. Old thing with only one light bulb and no air conditioning. I still don't know how in hell I survived, but I obviously did. I remember that one station did a transmission of what a nobles bunkers looked like, and let me say it was shocking. It put my decent sized hospital room of a house to shame.

So anyway, the year. 3019, that was when they came.

At first everything was normal, except the radars lighting up with vague mentions of something entering the artificial atmosphere, and that didn't set the scientists or me on high alert. I mean, the asteroid that took out half the planet wasn't planned either, and ever since then there have been sightings on smaller chunks of what used to be Europe and Asia crashing into the Black Point. Like we care though, whatever goes there is GONE. Like, forever gone.

So we all went along with our jobs, doing whatever the hell we had to, what we could with minimal education and not enough time. So finally I got off for the day.

So there I was, walking down the strip of street that was on the "safe side", grimacing every time I had to pass over a crosswalk from the gray side of the "street". They still call it streets though really it is just an invisible line, where the No-AHS like, the Non-organismic Artificial Humane Spawn come from. There are so many of them it seems like they triple us in size. The good part is they just pass right through matter on our side so it isn't like they are harmful. It really stinks though when the whole rest of the planet is just patches of air and patches of gray smoke, it gets confusing where and where you can't go.

So I had just passed by one of the No-AHS, the one dude that always tipped his smoky hat at me, and then crash. Everything went black.

I found out later, waking up in a strange room, that the asshole that had hit me had sent me right into part of the Gray Spot. And said asshole, well let's just say I was not happy.

Cause the savior(s) had come. And we got fucking aliens…

Yeah. That was my reaction. First was to try and rip his eyes out cause last time I went flying into dead space I lost an arm, which never grew back right (though the doctors had said it would be fine) and my vision in one eye has always sucked cause of it too.

They were called the Seekous (Say-Ol-Ka-Us). I had at first thought it derived from the word "seek" but it turns out where they had come from it meant Conquer.

Too late for me to know now.

So I immediately tried to beat the shit out of the four things in my room.

They were unlike any creatures I had even seen.

First off, I consider myself to be a normal Human by today's standards. White hair. White skin. White everything (from years of the sun expanding). I was exactly 5 foot six and my weight was at the 35% mark on the average scale. Literally an average human.

This thing in front of me had hair like the Black Point, just a mass of dark tendrils. And they were longer than the regulatory 4 inch maximum. Heck, it went past the female regulation of less than 12 inches.

It reached its knees. His skin too, was the color of cooked pasta noodles, maybe a bit darker. And his eyes, they had a thing in them I had never seen before. It looked almost like the color of the sky in old tales, before the collision impact. Blue, I had heard it was called. In such a stark world, he just stood out. And he was also at least six feet tall. I think the tallest man on earth reached 5 foot ten. Not even close.

So I sort of felt inferior, in my white regulatory sun absorbing cotton pants and shirt with eight inch sleeves. Because he, he was magical (which sounds totally gay, I know). And the other thing, he was eying me like I was some sort of highly desired meal ticket.

Now the other three were the opposite of humans. Black hair, dark noodle skin and about five foot two inches. And they didn't even look genetically altered, as some of the shorter humans are. They just smiled at me, revealing their teeth. Which was every creepy, that being a sign of hunger.

So the only reasonable inference was these were monsters. Cannibals, which isn't true because I knew by then they weren't human.

So I backed up a bit, and realized the room I was in was one of our highly regarded hospitals. It wasn't like they were really used, designer babies really knocked out all forms of illness, the only reason they were still here were for those unexpected trips into gray spots.

So anyway, at that moment a doctor (as I recognized) poked his head in and bowed low. To the human eaters. And then burst into tears muttering something about heroes.

Of course they just stood there. I don't think they understood what the heck was going on, because it is highly doubtable they spoke English.

I chose that time to sneak out of the room and then I proceeded to run because if that doctor wanted to be eaten then fine by me. Just another useless person gone.

When I got home, out of breath, and turned on the transmitter, surprise~ surprise~, the things were broadcasted from the screen. The reported was talking about how finally the saviors had shown, and earlier today rescued a child from a gray spot.

Which was outrageous because I am not a child, at all. Then the things smiled, and I swear the dark haired one made eye contact with me through the screen, so I shut it off and hid under my regulatory two inch thick white bedspread and buried my heads in my 2 feet by one foot white pillow. Which I am pretty sure disguised me, as I match perfectly.

..

So anyway, I know I am getting off topic. But, my life really suck(ed) so you know, you can't blame me for not wanted to drudge up annoying butt-hurt.

…

So I woke up the next morning with a killer headache, a blurry eye (fuck.) and the sound of my regulatory alarm beeping with the standard 2 tones per second, formulated to my brain frequency to make sure I get the hell up. And I immediate noticed that something was off.

There was color.

I lived in a white world. But suddenly I realized something, looking in the mirror that morning.

Color. I had seen color.

And suddenly my very white and black and gray world was shattered.

Because no longer was I a gray man. I saw color. Holy fuck.

When I walked out onto the "street" that morning, and of course received my daily hat tip from the silent gray No-AHS, I realized he was gray. Not me. I probably sounded insane, I know, but the only person in that half black, fourth gray and fourth white world that wasn't one of those colors, was that man. The one with the blue eyes. Luckily, I would never have to see him again.

I was wrong, unfortunately. The minute I stepped into the bleached walls of the perfectly spotless place I worked, I heard speaking. That in itself is very rare, being work is usually awkward and boring and just silent shifting through space (which is what I do) looking for obstacles and ect.

It basically means they don't want a repeat of 2030, with the giant asteroid and all.

But there was laughing, talking, and the smell of something I had only had once in my life. Coffee.

And boy, as I grabbed a glass from my smiling (holy hell) boss, and chugged that bitch I couldn't help but pinch myself. But unfortunately, we can't dream anymore being it disrupts our brain waves and has been prohibited. So then I look over at the on TV (which I had no idea existing in the workplace) and saw the man from yesterday, on the screen. And he was speaking.

English, Earth's language.

"..As said I, we peacefully come. Here providing what known to we as a benefit mutual." He spoke with broken English, but authority in his deep and heavily accented voice. "Language found we by translating satellite broadcast signals. Apologize we for convenience thereof lack." He smiled, and once again I felt like he was looking straight at me. "Kanda Yuu am I."

Of course, I snapped out of it and surprisingly, the whole day was filled with speculation and I am pretty sure I was the only one working. I couldn't help but need a distraction.

So an Alien was out supposed savior/hero? The one we had been waiting for? The problem at the time was the sun still was expanding, and the gravitational force was increasing at a rapid pace.

More gravity means more celestial bodies, which decided to shoot towards the Planet largest (closets to the sun) because of Mars whole, er, comet mishap.

That night, walking home, once again it was heard. Something only heard once in my life before, from my late father before he perished from the gas incident. Music.

Someone was singing, and just as I thought, it was the top hatted No-AHS. He tipped said hat at me and smiled.

"Hello mate." I just stared and he chuckled. "What? I just wanted to say hey before you are gone."

I remember asking him what on earth he meant by that, but he merely smiled. "You'll see soon."

Whatever. Anyway…

Just as I feared, I saw the blue eyes man up close and personal once more. Because when I walked into work the next day, I saw him speaking to my boss. I inched towards them and listened.

"-see we. Thank you greatly assistance for. Here technology can see other planets and bodies rock of." The tall man said, Kanda Yuu as introduced, and my boss nodded.

"Mr. Walker can show you," I, with a knowing look, and some shame, and stood up straight but almost shivered as those eyes were turned on me. And for the next hour with a male alien uncomfortably close to me I showed the savior exactly what we could do. Because I was just fucking awesome like that.

The scary part happened after work, as I stepped out, my fellow employees already headed home, I was stopped by a firm hand on my shoulder. And speak of the devil, I turned to see the cold look from Sir Sky Eyes. He smiled, and I shivered as he leaned close.

Then….

I don't want to talk about it. But he put his mouth next to my ear and whispered what should have clued me in.

"Soon." And with a brush of his lips against my cheek (no one sane does that!) and he was gone, his long black coat (I think they are called) sweeping the "street" behind him. And to my amazement, instead of avoiding a gray patch, we walked right through it. Damn.

I should have seen it coming, but I was retarded.

For the next year the alien literally became part of society and my job. Every day he was getting better at English, and every day he was learning more and more (from me). By the third month he could work the machinery as well as I could. He also could access the government's database because he was the "savior" so he most likely got the cheat codes.

And every day he got closer and closer to me. Eying me like some sort of piece of fruit. I learned too much about that man.

He was cruel, mean, rude, arrogant and I hate to say it but really handsome. Not that I'm gay or anything. The few woman still on earth, mostly birth mothers, but the free ones flocked to my work daily. I swear I had never seen one before. They weren't that impressive.

The last day of the Year of the Cat, a press conference was called. And surprise surprise, it was requested by you-said-it, Kanda Yuu. I was forced to attend by my boss, and standing in the front of the huge crowd (which was most likely about a Million, 90% of Earth's population) he was still eying me. Like a sack of cooked potatoes.

And that was when suddenly all out ships flew out of the containment center. And I am more than sure it was those dark haired minions driving them. They shot into the sky, the same direction Kanda Yuu had come from. Then he smiled (right at me) and next thing I know I was being held by the neck, strong arms encircling my breathing passages threateningly. And looking at the shocked crowd, it sunk in. Oh shit.

I got a wave from the top hatted Gray No-AHS as I was pulled into the arm and into a ship.

….

So that is how I got here. You are probably thinking, it isn't so bad.

I am being held by a crazy person who tries to eat my face and likes to make fun of the way I eat.

Turns out he knows more than perfect English so he can throw back insults better than me. His planet is like a big blue sphere, with water. On the floor is water. We live on something they call a Trila, which means "Island" pretty much. They stole all of Earth's technology, and me. I guess their leader, Kanda himself, saw a picture of me on one of the broadcasts from earth's satellites.

Turns out they can see through waves such as radio waves and light. So I was literally being stalked for my good looks.

Life is so unfair. Especially since everyone calls me Queen.

Perverts.

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**This is sorta a Yullen... I guess. **

**If you don't get it let me explain- Kanda found Allen attractive so he kidnapped him from Earth.**

**This was a collaboration of my brain... some refrences seen in this would be**

**The Giver (Novel)**

**Lathe of Heaven (Novel)**

**Needless (Anime)**

**Gattaca (Movie)**

**And yeah. There could be even more, I don't know. Any suggestions, questions, comments, hate mail or love I will accept gladly.**

**On another note, I am on Hiatus (more info on Profile) so this was written while I was doing my homework (more as a break or stress reliever) so don't hate.**


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